Trying to figure out how I got to where I am physically and mentally. Not crossing the finish line on Saturday really took it's toll on me. I could have finished within 30 seconds of my goal time but for some reason I felt like I had failed and didn't feel it was appropriate to cross the line. I will blame it on a glycogen depleted state of mind. Quitting had never crossed my mind in the past so I need to find out how I let it even be a possibility and learn how to combat it. Seeing pictures of me running on Saturday did not help. My weight has gotten to a point that is unacceptable. I honestly look like an elephanet lumbering down the road. While my miles per week is not very high, running 55-60 mpw should have brought my weight down. Perhaps it is the lack of intensity in my runs. This would also explain the loss of mental toughness. The biggest frustration is that Boston is only 2 weeks away and nothing can be done at this point to help that race. It's hard to justify the expense of the trip knowing it could quite possible be one of my slowest marathons. I need to take the last 6 months of training as a jumping off point and refocus on getting myself into better shape for a great fall marathon.
Just needed to vent for a minute. Time to stop feeling sorry for myself and come up with a plan to feel like a strong, healthy runner again. | 